Welcome to My Turf. This site is owned by someone hiding in the persona of Glenda. Please take into consideration that all the ramblings posted here are all what the owner feels and no one can make fuss of it. This is my blog and you must abide by my two rules. One, don't spam the tagboard and two, comment on my posts and tag before you go. Enjoy your stay!

For more information regarding my rules, here is a detailed .

Joy! I'm a Creature Banana

Marj/Marjoured/ Glenda. Born on October 11, 1990. Certified Libra. A Fourth year student. Wannabe Atenean, Thomasian, Fighting Maroon, Lasallian. Loner. Misunderstood. Certified Bookworm. Likes all subjects except PHYSICS. Has a distant past. Frequents all the so-called "MASA" places. Has a short temper and one-track mind that goes well together. Word lover, number hater.The so-called "shock absorber" of the class. More?

Warning: Contains a number of foul languages...Reader's discretion is advised.

WIFE: Himala! Aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako.

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Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: ha? Bkit?Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo eh.
Wife: p****** ka! Ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!

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1st night lola wear see thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lola wear t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd night lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"

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DAD: anak, bili mo ko softdrinx
ANAK: Coke or Pepsi?
D: Coke
A: Diet or regular?
D: regular
A: bote o can?
D: bote
A: 8 oz o litro?
D: P******!! Tubig na lang!
A: viva o Wilkins?

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AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo?
AMO: baligtarin mo!INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili

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Juan: bday ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.

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Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili nko ng hearing aid. Grabe! Ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!Juan: Talaga? Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

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Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about you FAMILY!

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na.

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KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya."

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SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2.bangga kotse ko and I nid cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
SIR: G***! C Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: G***! C Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!

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TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
TEACHER: baket naman?
BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.

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Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
PEPE: Tol! Pasa load naman! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
Tol: cge. w8 lng.
(Message sent)
Pepe: Tnx tol! Bait mo talaga!
Tol: G***! Wag ka na magtex! Sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
Pepe: k.

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ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
DOC: is it choking?
ERAP: it's max's.
DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
ERAP: no. Im serious!

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A priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
Priest: anyone got a bird?
all men stood up.
Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
All women stood up.
Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
...All nuns stood up

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ATTY: Inday! Pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?
INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
SUSPEK: cge!!!!...Mangasar ka pa!!!!

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Dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: Diyos ko! Patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa.
Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!

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Dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....
Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
MRS: g***!!!! Pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan.... e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!

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Dentist & Lover....
Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other...halata na tayo ng MR mo.
Lover: but we love each other!
Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses.... ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!

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Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: Ur name pls.
A: abdul aziz
Q: sex?
A: twice a wik.
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...

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Patient: dok. Malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili ko...
Doc: e ano naman laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...

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U wont believe what thingspeople do these days...
i was sitting next 2 dis girl in church & in the middle of the mass she light a cigarette!
Na-shock ako!!!!...
I almost dropped my Beer!!!!