Welcome to My Turf. This site is owned by someone hiding in the persona of Glenda. Please take into consideration that all the ramblings posted here are all what the owner feels and no one can make fuss of it. This is my blog and you must abide by my two rules. One, don't spam the tagboard and two, comment on my posts and tag before you go. Enjoy your stay!

For more information regarding my rules, here is a detailed .

Joy! I'm a Creature Banana

Marj/Marjoured/ Glenda. Born on October 11, 1990. Certified Libra. A Fourth year student. Wannabe Atenean, Thomasian, Fighting Maroon, Lasallian. Loner. Misunderstood. Certified Bookworm. Likes all subjects except PHYSICS. Has a distant past. Frequents all the so-called "MASA" places. Has a short temper and one-track mind that goes well together. Word lover, number hater.The so-called "shock absorber" of the class. More?

Hehe..It's been days since I last updated...I'm just sneaking out...It's really hard to do this secretly....Well, here's the punch lines in this sneaking process...

>I am currently reading Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong....
>Been pimping out my Friendster profile...
>Checked mail and threw out the junk...
>Did some downloading...
>Thinking of something to say...

Well, I guess it's time to get Broadband..Haha...

Hmmm...It's Mother's Day today and my mom is not here with me in the house (aawww...that sucks!) Anyway, I'm celebrating it without her...It sucks 'coz my sis is with her again...

Well, before they left, I was celebrating...When I came back from the Youth Camp, I miss them terribly...I couldn't blame God for not choosing my parents well for me...I know and you all know, that they are His gift for us...And we must shower our love and affection to them. Imagine how hard it is to fend for yourself without them...

When we lose our parents, it is the hardest-hitting loss that we will ever suffer...Unless we want them to die...Our parents especially our mothers love us...We may be not shown enough affection by them...They work hard to give our needs....

Well, to all moms...and to my mom...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I walk through the dusty path.

I walk with faith.

I walk with conviction.

I trudged the dusty path to the town cemetery. It was nighttime, and I thought a walk around would be fine. I was in low spirits since that fateful night and I think I ought to stretch my legs...

---

All changed in the span of one night.

They say a first night spoils everything.

It was true. It was a lesson learned, the painful way.

---

It was a fine school day. I was having some quiet time to myself one afternoon. I watched rather sadly as birds fluttered by my arm. I stared at the birds then I fed them some rice grains that I always bring for this purpose. As I watch the sun set in the horizon, I felt rather melancholic, like I was expecting something to happen...

At that time, I thought I was enjoying this view all to myself.

Until someone touched my hand.

I immediately jumped aside, and my first instinct was to slap that person. But I was shocked.

It was you.

I don't know what I would feel. You approached and asked if it's ok to sit with me. I frantically said yes.

I felt as if my heart skipped a beat. The opportunity to sit with you, was too much to miss...

You sit beside me. We both looked at the sky. The moon began to shine serenely above us. You commented about how bright the moon is. I continued to stare at your wonderful face. It was like a dream. I slapped myself, thinking that it was all a dream.

Suddenly, you grabbed my hand. And to my surprise, you put it against your cheek. I was so overwhelmed...

Then, I began to act upon my instincts.

I took your hand. I kissed it tenderly. I feel you shudder slightly. But when I was finished, you brought your hand to your cheek to stroke it. I was so happy...

I stroked your hair tenderly. It was the first time I ever touched you intimately. You smiled at me. Then, I decided to take things one step further.

I held your face close to me. I admit, I was so nervous, then I decided to go for it.

I brought my lips to yours. I gently kissed you for a few moments before I pull back and put my arm around you. You smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek. I returned your kiss, and I rested my cheek on your ears. You giggled, and caressed my cheek with your cheek. I grinned and poked your side, in an attempt to tickle you. You squirmed around a little. I laughed as I combed your hair and planted a kiss on your forehead. You crooned as you returned the kiss. I chuckled and I leaned to press a kiss to your lips again. You kissed back and you blushed. I murmured through the kiss as i tried to your wrists. I whispered, "Grip." You felt the strong grip and I felt as if your heart had just skipped a beat.

I move up my hand to your face, placing both of them to your cheeks and gently caressing the flesh as I deepen the kiss...

I whispered, "Can we go beyond friendship?"

My face fell when I heard your reply.

"I'm sorry, but we can't. You know, I also felt the same way towards you...But, I need to have some time to myself. You know I am still recovering from a broken relationship. So, I am really sorry. We can't go beyond that."

I withdraw my gaze from you. It was like I was poured cold water on my face.
Tears started to flow from my eyes like rain.

It was then I noticed that it was raining.

I looked to my side but you already disappeared.

I sighed heavily. I decided to wait for the rain to pass before I went home.

As I went home, I was so ashamed of myself. To think that I professed my love to my own best friend. I was so angry at myself for doing it. I know, I don't have the nerve to face you.

Suddenly, I heard frantic noises overhead. I scurried over to the source of the noise.

I was shocked at what I saw.

Your house is on fire.

I was so frantic, I don't know what to do. I saw your mother crying. She told me you went inside the burning house as though you had gone insane. I almost wanted to go after you but the firemen said that it was no use.

You died in the fire. I practically blame myself for what happened.

I can never say to you how much I love you anymore.

And that night poisoned everything.

---

I entered the gates. The caretaker greeted me. I merely nodded at him.

Soon, I found your grave. It was a nice spot. It faced a large farmland, which is very calm. I sighed as I put the flowers I brought beside your grave. Then I sat on the grass and stared into space...It's your birthday, and I hummed Happy Birthday while looking at the sunrise...

Hehe...I'm into depression mode...But I want to show this video from Yakitate Japan...Fish 'n Chips...Haha, I'm so laughing right now, the video is so funny...I watched it from Betina's blog...I'll include it...Enjoy!

"Emotions will only put you down sometimes it's just better to use your head than to hurt yourself knowing you and the one you love can never be..."

Those were the exact words in her status message...

We're goners...

Some excerpts from our chat...

"I don't know how many times I wrote little sweet love notes to you--- I thought you loved me and we would last forever___ I guess I was wrong..."

"u really noe how to break my heart eh... all u wanted to be is just
friends...galing lam moh na pano break heart ko..."

P.S. Last minute excerpts:

“Yes i still love you. I love u more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let you go so you can know just how much I love you. Maybe if I'm lucky, you'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

"lam ko naman na di na pwede mging tau...pero wala naman msama kung aasa ako eh.... sa isang bagay na lam kong di ko makukuha..."

Na-hurt ako dito sa isang ito...

“LOVE Horrible isn't it? It makes me so vulnerable. It opens my chest and it opens up my heart and it means that someone can get inside me and mess me up. i build up all these defenses, i build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt me....

But...

then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into my stupid life...i give you a piece of me. you didn't ask for it. you did something dumb one day, like kiss me or smile at me, and then my life isn't my own anymore.

And...

It gets inside me. It eats me out and leaves you crying inside the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into my heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-me-and-rips-me-apart pain. I hate love.”

Sigh...

Hey! I'm back for good...Still fresh from the Youth Camp...Haha...I'm now an official member of Youth For Christ (YFC) and I'm proud of it! To think that I have attended a handful of YFC gatherings and I'm not even a member yet!(Count:RLC,YFC High School Summit,YFC Provincial Assembly,Youth Camp except the Kasangga Assembly) Hehe, well the experience is awesome...I have run out of words to express them all...So here they all are:

Friday, May 5, 2006

Hehe, since this day is a review day, I decided to take all my things with me to the review session. It was so hard carrying my duffel bag since it is so heavy...I guess I packed too much...

(Fast forward..)

After the review, I went out and saw the people who are going to the youth camp. There's Obie and Gio and Russell. Anyway, a lot of people were quite jealous 'coz they can't go...Anyway, I went with Obie to the lobby and to my surprise, a lot of the 4th year graduates were there, and also 3 of the 1st 4th year graduates...Hehe...Anyway, we boarded our car going to the venue...It's quite a long car ride and my back was aching...But when we arrived, it was the best surprise of my whole life...

It's a cold night in Indang...When we arrived, we were greeted by a handful of tents and some uh, creepy crawlies...We registered first our names and after that, got our Camp Kits...Then, we listened to Kuya Mon and Ate Apple about our groupings for the tents. After that, we were taught songs although I know some of them already (ok, i don't know the song Heaven) and after that, we had dinner...

After that, we had our first talk...It was delivered by Ate C.E. ...The talk was about God's Love and His Plan For Us...We realized that God has a "crazy dream" for us: a plan to give us a future and a hope. That's why he sent his only son to save us from our sins and mend our broken link with God.

Then, we played the game "Archer, Rabbit, Wall." It was a totally cool game and we won! Hehe... Then more songs were taught...

Then Talk two followed. This was delivered by Ate Dana...The talk was entitled: "Who is Jesus Christ to me?" We learned about the common misconceptions about Jesus and the best way to get to know him better. She also compared Jesus to Alexander the Great...

Then we had a sharing portion...I opened up to my groupmates about some aspects of my life...After that, we prayed all together...Then we went to our tents to freshen up...Most of the girls were eating in their tents...I hope ants won't attack them.

LIGHTS OUT.

Saturday, May 6, 2006

About 3 in the morning, I woke up, quite shocked. Because I felt that something was biting me. I thought I was just dreaming...So I decided to go back to sleep.

That wasn't the verdict.

At about 5 AM, I couldn't stand the bites anymore. I immediately got up and saw my tentmate, Aimee already up and trying to get the ants off.

Ants.

So that's the problem. I immediately helped Aimee to get rid of the ants...Then when I can't take it any longer, I went out of the tent where I saw people suffering the same fate...Then, to get rid of the itchiness, I decided to take a bath...But, there is no water.

I guess I woke up some of the sleeping tenants with my incessant complaining. They immediately guessed my plight...

When the water supply was restored, I immediately took a bath...

After taking a bath, I went to the session hall and worked up on my inbox...Then, BREAKFAST!

Then, time for talk 3...The speaker is Kuya Edwin...The talk is about Repentance, Faith, Healing and Forgiveness. We learned a lot about his past life and how he applied these principles to his life to change for the better. That healing occurs when we forgive, ask for forgiveness, humbly ask God to do so, and when we serve others.

Then, we had a letter writing activity. We wrote letters to our parents. I don't know what to put into the letter so I decided to write about my concerns and problems concerning them. After that, we had lunch and it's time for the One-to-One sessions...

ONE-TO-ONE SESSIONS

Well, basically I want to have this session so badly. I don't know why, maybe because I needed something to distract me from all the pain I've felt...So, I approached Ate Rachel and told her I want to have a session first. She agreed. We went to a secluded place in the campsite.

First, I told her about my family problems. All about me not wanting the course they want but eventually giving in to what they want. Then about me not sharing my problems to them because I feel this sort of foolish pride...Then I also told her about my problems with my friends(sorry, it's pretty confidential) and school problems.

Through this session, I managed to open up about what is really happening with my life...

-END OF NEWS ARTICLE-

continue...

Then she asked me what gift of the Holy Spirit would I want. I said gift of tongues.

Then we prayed together. After that, I went back to the hut. I sat there for no reason at all.
Then I talked to Obie about the latest happenings in school. Then, about 4, we had our E-NYT practices. I was with the singing group. We decided to sing Crazy for You and Same Ground. After that, we went outside for the mass. We rode tricycles to the church. Then, we realized that we arrived too early. So we went to buy drinks in a nearby store.

Then we went to the mass...

After that, we went back to the campsite for dinner. After dinner, we watched funny clips like Michael Jackson's rendition of My Favorite Things( I like pick a nose) and the Pooh Bear song. After that, we freshened up a bit.

Talk 4 followed...

The speaker was Kuya Norman...His talk was about Receiving God's Gift: The Power of the Holy Spirit. We were so amazed that we can receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

Then, we had our prayover session...I admit, I was so touched and at the same time guilty of the sins that I have done. Honestly, I was full of mind-numbing guilt. I was suddenly full of courage and conviction to serve God. When I slightly opened my eyes, I noticed that most of the people were standing up. Full of conviction that I never had, I stood up.

Then, the prayover began. I was called first by my faci and she prayed for me. It was an emotional moment...I was practically sniffing as she prayed...Then after that, I had this feeling of calm that I have never felt before...I went back to my seat as though I went back to life.

Then our first worship session began...I admit, it's not my first time to worship because of the past gatherings...But it's ok 'coz for some, it's their first time.

Then some last-minute preparations for our E-NYT presentations...Then we presented our song number...I admit it didn't turn out quite good but it's alright. We were practically laughing at the gag presentation...Kuya Kenneth's impersonation of Kuya Mon was so hilarious...

Then preparations to go to bed....All the girls thought they wouldn't be able to go to sleep...Kuya Mon was so persistent on keeping them awake...(He's teasing Aimee about sardines...) Me and Ate Laira were having a fight....Haha, it's such a long night...

LIGHTS OUT.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

I woke up at around 5:30 AM. True, I realy can't get enough sleep. But it's ok 'coz no ants were biting me as I slept. But, I realized that I was being bitten by the large ants that bite like hell..I took a bath early.

Working on my inbox once again...Hehe, I was writing messages on the colored paper.

Breakfast...Yum yum!

Then, prayer time and worship....

Then, we were asked to transfer to the shady part facing the river. There, talk 5 started. It was Kuya Mon who delivered the talk. It's about the Life and Mission of YFC...The one that caught my attention was when Ate Apple told us that they couldn't eat like we do there...

Then, we prayed...Then, some of us received the biggest surprise of our life...

Their parents and loved ones...

Some were crying when they saw their parents...But some were not so lucky. I was one of those not-so-lucky ones. But it's ok. It was Ate Rachel who served as my parent. They prayed for us and we prayed for them. Then, we went to the session hall for our final worship. Then we were awarded our certificates and ID's.

Then we had our lunch. But, we gave our lunch to the facis...

As we left the place, I felt complete renewal...I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be in this camp...For letting me bond with the people who I never thought I would get to know better and for making me a better person...

May GOD be forever praised...

Rough Landing, Holly... I had a LSS or Last Song Syndrome and it's all because of this song...I was browsing TV channels one afternoon and I saw the video being played on MTV... I was immediately hooked to it and I downloaded it via Limewire... I really like the song and the lyrics but especially the video...

I'll share a few lyrics of the song...

Left the ground
In black and white
And when the plane went down
The colors all around
I know by now
The margin's slight
And still I can't get out; she's all I think about, can't let her go
It's who you know

Chorus
We came down to watch the world walk by
And all she found was trouble in my eyes
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go
Let her go

She moves fast,
Takes control and like a heart attack I know I can't turn back
And time just passed
Nights moved slow
And she was all I had, I thought I'd never last, can't let her go
It's who you know

Chorus x2

She calls out the farther that I fly
I love that sound so give me one more line
From the sky she pulled me down tonight
Let her go

As an added bonus, I included the video of the song. Enjoy!

P.S. My next post will be due Monday because of the youth camp.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

-From Friendster