Welcome to My Turf. This site is owned by someone hiding in the persona of Glenda. Please take into consideration that all the ramblings posted here are all what the owner feels and no one can make fuss of it. This is my blog and you must abide by my two rules. One, don't spam the tagboard and two, comment on my posts and tag before you go. Enjoy your stay!

For more information regarding my rules, here is a detailed .

Joy! I'm a Creature Banana

Marj/Marjoured/ Glenda. Born on October 11, 1990. Certified Libra. A Fourth year student. Wannabe Atenean, Thomasian, Fighting Maroon, Lasallian. Loner. Misunderstood. Certified Bookworm. Likes all subjects except PHYSICS. Has a distant past. Frequents all the so-called "MASA" places. Has a short temper and one-track mind that goes well together. Word lover, number hater.The so-called "shock absorber" of the class. More?

NOTE: The thing I'm about to discuss is very serious and readers would be advised to be very tactful and sensitive in reading this post. I will be revealing some aspects of my personality that I don't know whether you'll accept or reject. To all those who know me personally at school, I advise you to be very careful in judging my character after you read this post.

***

I turned on my computer at about 7:30 in the morning (right after I ate my breakfast) and decided to get started on my research proposal when my procrastination attacked me again and I decided to blog hop instead. After going to Mr. Talksmart's blog to monitor the voting, I checked out my blog again and saw a couple of new tags. I clicked the link on one of the tags (I think that was Mai's blog) and the first post there caught my attention. I decided to check out Potpot's blog for the original post and after a few minutes of reading and rereading the said post, I decided that I couldn't hide anything anymore. I decided to give my reaction to the said post.

***

I am also openminded when it comes to homosexual realationships.

I believe that they should also be given a chance to be happy. They should not be discriminated because they are people too, just like you and me. In fact, I salute them because they were not afraid to reveal to people who they really are. I don't believe that homosexuals were the scum of society. They are even more determined to make ends meet by taking jobs in the parlor, etc. and I respect them for that.

With regards to the relationship part, I think that they are even more sincere than the straight ones. They really shower their partners with love and affection. The realtionship is almost perfect, except that they are of the same sex.
...

I was once involved with this kind of realtionship.

Shocking isn't it? Yes, I was once involved into this kind of relationship. Believe me, it did not cross my mind that I would have a relationship with someone of the same sex but it did happen. It did happen.

***

I once studied in an all-girls school, St. Paul College-Paranaque. This old school of mine is now a coed school, but during my time (about 1997-1998), it was just exclusive for girls. Boys were a BIG no-no into our campus back then. So, I have seen lots of girls milling around the campus, doing other stuffs beyond the normal scale. I was really curious back then. *thinks*

My first brush with this so-called homosexual feelings came when I was in Grade Five, when I transferred to ESS-South. I had this certain 'crush' on this girl in our class. But, I was able to control my feelings when I had a crush on a boy in the same class. But that feeling returned when I was in Grade Six, I also had a 'crush' on this girl in my class again. But still the same, I managed to control my feelings. I thought that I would be able to get over it when I move on to High School. But I was wrong.

During my first and second year, I had 'crushes' on girls. But still the same, I managed to get over it but I noticed that I would usually have periods where in I would feel really frustrated with the missed opportunities. And everytime boys dance with them during the HS Night, I would really lose control.

But during my Third Year, it happened.

***

I met her during a CCP practice. I was still at school and I decided to watch the practice since I have nothing else to do. I was with my friends when she suddenly joined in our conversation. I introduced myself to her and we talked about hilarious stuff that made us laugh so hard. Anyway, after our first meeting, I did not really feel something special but there was this feeling that bothered me. I chose to ignore it.

It was a Sunday when she first called. I remember asking her how did she got my number. Anyway, she told me that she got into an argument with one of my friends and she asked me to help her. I tried to help her, but it was no good. There came a time when we found out that we were deceived, big time by her. I really learned to hate her so much.

She also loved sending me letters. The letters usually contain topics and poems about friendship and love. I don't know what was really in her mind by sending those mushy letters. It was one fateful day, in late January last year that she confessed her secret love for me.

I admit that I was really shocked when she said that. But it confirmed my suspicions that she really felt something for me. I really felt something for her and I decided to take things a little bit further.

***

So what happened to us???

We're not together anymore. Clearly, after she joined YFC, she decided to change for the better. I was glad with the change, although a part of me is still sad. But, I can't bring back the time and who knows, maybe i'll someday find the meaning of true love. With the opposite sex.

Hindi ako makapaniwala na ang araw na ito ay magdudulot sakin ng kakaibang sigla at panghihinayang. Ngunit tama na ang pagpapaliguy-ligoy dahil magkukwento na ako.

...

Kakagaling ko lang sa UPHDS-Molino. Sumali kasi ang school namin sa UP Angkan Talahasaan 2006. Hehe...Yun talaga ang unang beses na sumali kami doon pero, nanalo pa kami 2nd Place Overall! Eto na ang kwento:

Pumunta ako ng school ng mga 6:10 ng umaga. Nagulat ako nang tanungin ng mga guards doon kung sasama daw ba ako sa Field Trip(?). Sabi ko na pupunta kami ng Molino at dito lang kami sa school magkikita-kita. Naupo ako sa mga patong-patong na upuan at nahikab. Bangag kasi ako dahil napuyat ako sa HS Night. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, dumating si Ms. Joy tapos si K.
Naghintay pa kami ng ilang minuto tapos dumating na si Kaye Solomon.

Eto, nakaupo parin kami tapos hikab ako nang hikab dahil inaantok pa ako. Tapos, dumating si Shane saka si Christianne Mojica. kasabay pala nila si Ms. Aubelle. Nagpasya na kaming sumakay doon sa sasakyan papunta roon sa UPHDS. Pagkasakay namin, dumating narin sa wakas si Monique. Hinintay parin namin si Aya pero nung tinawagan namin siya, sabi nya susunod nalang siya. Kaya, umalis na rin kami.

Pagkatapos namin magdasal, nakuha ko pang magpatawa sa kanila. Epekto na rin siguro ito ng Extra Joss na ininom ko kaninang umaga. Tapos, nagreview kami ni Ms. Aubelle. Feeling ko talaga, handang-handa na kami.

Pagdating namin sa Perpetual, dumaan muna kami sa Chapel. Nagdasal kami nang husto. Talagang gusto naming manalo. Pagkatapos nun, pumunta na kami sa gym. Sa may harap kami naupo at naghintay. Mga 9 na nagsimula yung program. Talagang nabangag ako sa sobrang bored at halos makakatulog nako.

Sa wakas, magsisimula na ang laban.

Nagsimula na ang written phase ng Quiz Bee. Grabe, ang hihirap ng mga tanong. Hindi talaga lumabas ang mga pinag-aralan namin. Buti nalang, medyo alam ko yung mga sagot pero nung tinanong yung tungkol sa pangalan ng mga bata sa Narnia, pinalitan ko pa yung sagot...tama na sana! T_T

Pagbalik namin sa gym, sinabi namin na wag nang umasa na makakapasok kami sa oral phase eliminations. Habang kumakain, nirecall ko yung mga tanong. Ayun, nagsisihan kami dun sa sagot sa Narnia. So, pagkatapos ng lunch, tinawag na yung mga nag-qualify. 9 na yung natatawag na school pero di pa kami natatawag. Asa pa kami, naisip ko.

Pero nagulat kami bigla. Tinawag kami.

Tuwang-tuwa kami lahat. High fives ang nakuha naming tatlo. Pumunta na kami sa pwesto namin at naghintay. Nagdasal kami ulit sa upuan namin. At ayan, magsisimula na!

Ok naman kami nung oral phase. Nasasagot naman namin yung mga tanong. Pero, lagi kaming mali sa Math! Kakaasar kasi sayang talaga yun. Pero, pagkatapos ng oral phase, kami na ang nangunguna! 43 points ang nakuha namin. Nakapasok din sa finals ang Cavite Institute, Imus Institute, Cavite National High School, at ang host school, UPHDS.

Ayan, may intermission number muna. Grabe, ang gagaling sumayaw ng mga UPHDS White Angels. Lalo na yung naka-pigtails. LOL. Ayun, pagbalik sa audience, hugs, kisses, and high fives ang sumalubong samin. Nakakatuwa kasi natakasan namin yung oral phase. Tapos, leading contenders pa kami kasi 7 points ang lamang namin sa Imus Institute. Ayun, briefing muna. Wag daw kabahan, pindutin agad ang buzzer pag may sagot. Yun, time na para magstart ang final round...

Sa kasamaang palad, natalo kami ng Cavite Institute para sa 1st place. Pero nakuha namin yung 2nd place dahil sa...Brokeback Mountain. Nung bumaba kami ng stage, sinalubong kami ng: hugs, kisses, at high fives ulit. Medyo nanghinayang ako sa mga sagot ko pero ayos lang yun. Ang mahalaga, nanalo kami ng 2nd place kahit first time namin.

Nanalo rin pala si Christianne sa short story writing, 3rd place. Nanalo rin si Kaye Solomon, 3rd place din sa extemporaneous speaking. Sayang, di nanalo si Shane sa essay writing at si K sa poster making pero ayos lang. Nanalo naman ang school namin, 2nd place overall sa lahat ng contests! Babasagin nga lahat ng medals at trophy namin eh!

Grabe, ang dami kong natutunan sa experience na yun. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na ito. Kapag dumating ulit ang araw na ito, maalala at maaalala ko ang nangyari ngayon...

Gusto ko pasalamatan si Ms. Aubelle, Ms. Jham, Ms. Joy, Sir Romy sa pagtrain saming tatlo ni Aya at Monique. Gusto ko rin magpasalamat sa lahat ng taong nagwish samin ng Good Luck. Kung wala kayo, hindi namin mararating ang tagumpay na ito. At most especially kay God.

...

P.S. Ang saya ng HS Nyt nung Friday! Sa wakas, may nakipagsayaw na sakin! Eto na ang pinakamasayang HS Night sa buong buhay ko, kahit may Quiz bee kinabukasan.. LOL.

Nanalo ako bilang Filipino Blog of the Week. Sa lahat ng bumoto sakin, salamat nang madami. Nominated ako ulit! Boto nyo naman ako. Same mechanics as before.

...

Sa aking pagugol ng maraming taon sa paaralan, hindi ko pa tinanong sa aking sarili kung may natutunan ba ako mula sa anim na taon ko sa Grade School at apat na taon sa High School. Well, marami naman syempre.

NOTE: This counter post is written to express the author's opinion from another point of view... For more details, see my borks galore and everything in between post. Thanks!

Well, remember how I really hated those BOrks? Yes, I thought they were the scum of the earth But what happened this morning changed everything.

I'll be writing my post in Taglish since I couldn't find the words to describe what really happened. Please bear with me if you find it quite irritating.

...

Kaninang umaga, habang naglalakad ako sa may catwalk, bigla kong nakasabay si...Ayumi (Ang BOrk Queen kuno nina Lulu). Mukhang masama ang pakiramdam nya. Ikinuwento nya sa akin na habang nagpa-check up sila, sabi sa kanya ng doktor, "You look miserable." Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o maaawa sa kalagayan nya. Iniisip ko kasi kung anong mangyayari kay Betz sa klasrum nila. Pagkaakyat, naghiwalay kami sa may second floor (sa third floor pa kasi ang room ko) pero sinabi ko na pupunta ako sa klasrum nila.

Pagdating ko sa klasrum nila, nakita ko ang todong pag-iwas ni Lulu kay Ayumi. Nadidismaya ako nung mga oras na iyon pero may nararamdaman pa kasi akong galit kaya nagkibit-balikat nalang ako. Sumama ako sa kanila papunta sa klasrum ko dahil manghihiram si Lulu ng calculator. Pagkabalik namin, dumating na si Betz. Nakita ko na hinawakan ni Ayumi si Betz at tinanong nya kung anong nangyayari. Hindi siya sumagot. Bigla nalang sila nag-usap ni Lulu at nagulat ako nang biglang hinila ako ni Ayumi papunta sa isang sulok ng klasrum para tanungin ako. Una, hindi ako makasagot kasi kinakabahan ako nang husto pero unti-unti kong sinagot ang mga tanong niya. Hindi na halos maipinta ang mukha nya.

Nagpatuloy ang estadong ito hanggang dumating ang oras ng recess. Nakita ko silang nag-aabang sa may Viewing Room 1 para sa Physics nila pero hindi ko makita roon si Ayumi. Nagpasya akong pumunta sa klasrum nila at doon ko sya nakita. Doon nya inilabas sa akin ang sama ng loob nya at ang eksplanasyon ng talagang nangyari. Doon ako nakarating sa konklusyon na parang ni hindi nila binigyan ng pagkakataon si Ayumi na makapagpaliwanag. Kaya nung lunch, umupo ako pero hindi malapit kina Ayumi o kina Betz.

...

I reached a point where in I have to weigh everything that they said and she said. I know that it's hard but it's a part of life and we can't just chuck it out of our system. I know that I also jumped into a conclusion but I realized that she too had a point. They did not give her the chance to explain her predicament.

MESSAGE TO BOTH PARTIES: Broaden your understanding of each other.
TO BETZ: Talk things over with Ayumi. Tell her what is really on your mind.
TO AYUMI: Same as betz. Talk things over. Clarify the matters that are needed to be clarified. Ask her what's going on.

Well, I couldn't believe that my blog is starting to sprout cobwebs. So I decided to update it today. Well, I will start by narrating the events this week. Here it is:

Saturday-I took my Ateneo College Entrance Test. I must say, the test wasn't hard. The test is divided into two parts: the proficiency and aptitude tests. The proficiency part was easy enough. Even Math was bearable. But when it came to the aptitude part, I didn't expect that it was a mix of easy and hard questions.

Sunday-Nothing much happened.

Monday-The beginning of a new week. The highlight of this day was my recent failure in Physics. As usual, I didn't pass a quiz again.

Tuesday-Same as monday. Same highlight of the day.

Wednesday-The highlight of this day was the graduation pictorial. I really looked good in my makeup and hairstyle. But I didn't look very good in my formal picture. I even thought my creative shot looked even better.

Thurday-Same as monday and tuesday. Same highlight of the day. What made it even worse was the graded recitation in Physics. I really couldn't understand it. Grrr....

Friday-This day is full of negative energy, thus full of bad vibes. First of all, I received my latest result on my last quiz in Physics. I really failed it. 2/25, can you believe that??? Well, it really ruined my day. But that wasn't the worst yet.

While we were waiting for the club session to start, Obie came to us with a very sour look in his face. He told us that he called *****, ***, ***** and ******* to go down because club was starting but they were busy playing ****-***. So we decided to start without them. We had an activity where in we will draw our priorities in life. Then, we were asked to present it to everyone. After that, Ate Yuki shared to us her own priority in life. The sharing went quite well until an incident happened, causing us to get awfully worried. After that, someone informed us that Community Service has already started. We proceeded straight to the promenade and much to our surprise and chagrin, we missed the session. They were playing team-buliding games like the game we play together with Brigitte, Obie, Lulu and Betina. So we were very disappointed because no one had informed us about it. And those people went to that session without informing us. Because of our anger and disappointment, we decided to call them Borks.

Message to the Borks: Know your priorities. Know when to stop breaking rules. Finally, know your limits.

WHAT: Outbound Education Trip
WHERE: Mt. Banahaw Complex 1 (Sta. Lucia) Dolores, Quezon
WHEN: September 6, 2006

TRIVIA: Ang Mt. Banahaw ay may apat na complex:

Complex 1: Sta. Lucia (Dito kami pumunta!)
Complex 2: Kinabuhayan
Complex 3: Durungawan
Complex 4: Paraiso

Kapag aakyat tayo sa mga apat na complex na ito... Aabutin tayo ng apat na araw paakyat sa tuktok ng Durungawan at apat na araw pababa ng Paraiso...

...

Hay...Nakakapagod talaga ang araw ko kahapon. Kagagaling ko lang sa Complex 1 ng Mt. Banahaw sa Dolores, Quezon. Hayaan nyong ikwento ko ang lahat ng nangyari dun sa pinuntahan naming yun...

Sa School

Umalis kami ng school ng mga 6:30 ng umaga. Nahati ang section namin kaya kasabay nung iba samin ang IV-Physiology sa bus. Nung bago kami umalis, naglead ako ng prayer para sa safety ng trip namin at siyempre para na rin dun sa mga di nakasama. Yung mga kasabay naming facilitators: Kuya Ron, Kuya Eman, Kuya Jan, at si Ate Tina. Excited talaga ako, parang di nako makapaghintay na makapunta dun!

Sa Biyahe

Di ako masyadong makadaldal kasi sa sobrang excitement. Hanggang makarating kami sa stopover namin, lost for words parin ako. Pumunta ako sa minimart doon at bumili ng 5 na Chupa Chups lollipops. tatlo dun, cola flavor. Addict talaga no? Pero hindi ko lang alam, may silbi pala yung pagdadala ko ng lollipops sa bundok. Sasabihin ko mamaya kung bakit.

Nung umaandar na ulit kami, nadaanan namin ang isang bus na may mga estudyante rin. Kaway kami ng kaway sa kanila at kumakaway rin sila. Nung pagdating namin sa Calamba Exit, nawala na yung bus nila. Sayang, akala namin kasabay rin namin sila sa Banahaw.

Nang nasa Sto. Tomas, Batangas na kami, tumirik yung kabilang bus kasi nag-breakdown yung aircon nila. Tumawag na sila ng backup na bus pero nalaman na lang namin na ayos na ulit yung aircon nila. So tuloy ulit ang biyahe.

Binigyan kami ng aming seatwork. Ang Outbound Ed Journal. Para may maisagot kami, naglecture si Kuya Eman tapos minsan, nababanggit nya yung mga sagot dun. Pero, habang naglelecture siya, marami nang natutulog sa upuan nila. Kaya sinabi nya na pwede kaming matulog ng 10 minutes. Nung makakatulog na ako, sobrang tahimik ng paligid. Nung bigla akong nagising, tahimik parin. Ang peaceful talaga. Tapos, ginising kami ng boses ni Kuya Eman at tinuloy niya ulit yung lecture. Halos hindi ako nakikinig dahil na rin sa sobrang antok at excitement sa kung ano ang naghihintay samin dun.

Nung malapit na kami sa site, ayan, empake na ng dadalhing mga gamit. Nagpahid ako ng sunblock at OFF! Lotion kasi una, mainit ang panahon at pangalawa, jurassic ang mga lamok doon. Nung pagbaba namin, hirap na hirap ako sa pagdadala ng lunch box ko dahil sobrang bigat nun talaga. Naglakad na kami papunta sa Spiritual Filipino Catholic Church at doon kami nag-stretching at nag-CR. Pagkatapos nun, tumulak na kami papunta sa bundok.

Sa Bundok

Iniwan namin ang mga gamit namin sa may parang talipapa tapos, bumaba na kami sa parang hagdan doon. mahirap bumaba dahil hindi talaga proportional yung mga steps at minsan, hindi pa kasya ang paa ko dun. Nang makababa na kaming lahat sa hagdan, pumunta ka kami sa Talon ng Buhok ng Ina.

Sa talon, naligo kami dun isa-isa. Nung ako na yung maliligo, tumingala ako nang nakabukas ang bibig at nakainom ako ng maraming tubig. Inisip ko kung malinis yung tubig dun sa talon at buti nalang, malinis yun. Masarap kasi yung lasa ng tubig, daig pa ang mineral water. Pagkatapos naming maligo sa talon, dun naman kami sa Ilog Laslas o ang tinatawag nilang "Jordan River." Lumusong kaming lahat sa tubig at nagdasal kami ng mga kahilingan namin tapos, lumubog kami ng tatlong beses sa tubig. Ang sarap talaga doon. Pagkatapos nun, umakyat na kami ulit sa hagdan pabalik sa talipapa. Pagkapahinga doon, tumulak na kami papunta sa 'gate' ng Mt. Banahaw. Nang makarating na kami doon, naglecture ulit nang konti si Kuya Eman saka kami pumasok doon.

Una naming narating ang Prisintahan. Ito ay isang pwesto o shrine sa Mt. Banahaw, tulad ng Talon ng Buhok ng Ina, at ng Ilog Laslas. Ito ay sumisimbolo sa Aklat ng Buhay. Kapag pumirma daw kami sa batong iyon, matatala daw ang mga pangalan namin sa langit. Sinulat namin yung mga surname namin sa bato at tumulak na kami patungong Husgado. Sa pag-akyat namin papunta dun, kailangan kong ibato pataas yung lunch box kong mabigat para makaakyat ako nang maayos. Buti nalang ginawa ang lunch box kong iyon para ibato kung saan-saan. Sa wakas, nakarating na kami sa Husgado, pero bago yun, kumain muna kami ng tanghalian. Pagkatapos, pumunta kami sa isang shed para magtanggal ng sapatos tapos pumunta na kami sa crack.

Bago kami pumasok sa crack, nagdasal muna kaim. Humingi kami ng kapatawaran sa mga kasalanan namin. Tapos, isa-isa na kami pumasok sa loob.

**Ang Crack

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng crack, pumasok talaga sa isip ko na hindi ako kakasya sa loob kasi hirap na hirap ako dumaan sa mga chambers nito.

Nung makarating ako sa pangalawang chamber, dun na ako naghirap ng husto. Una, pinulikat ang kaliwang paa ko. Pangalawa, dahil sa bigat ko, nahirapan akong itulak ang sarili ko paabante. Nung makalampas ako, akala ko tapos na pero hindi pala. Meron pang isang chamber na kung saan, kailangan ko talagang iaangat ang katawan ko at umabante pataas. Tinulungan pa ako ng facilitator namin para lang makaakyat doon. Akala ko ulit, tapos na ang paghihirap ko. Pero hindi parin.

Narating ko na ang huling pagsubok. Kailangan ko ulit iangat ang katawan ko paitaas tapos parang kabayo ang usad ko paabante. Dito talaga ako naghirap. Natagalan ako dito nang husto. buti nalang, hinila ako ni Kuya pataas kaya nakaakyat ako pataas at sa wakas, nakita ko na ang liwanang. Paglabas ko sa crack, may nakuha akong mga gasgas.

**

Habang hinihintay naming lumabas sa cave yung iba naming mga kasama, nagpahinga muna kami. Iniisip ko yung tungkol sa mga diskarteng ginawa ko sa loob ng crack. Doon ko naranasan ang paghihirap at yun ang nagpagising sa konsensya ko. Desidido na akong umakyat sa Kalbaryo kahit mahirap pa ang daan.

Nagsimula kaming umakyat ng Kalbaryo at ito na ang pinakanakakapagod na parte ng paglalakbay namin. Halos nahuhuli nako dahil narin sa pagod. Mabuti nalang bago pa ako mapagod nang husto, narating ko na yung tuktok. Pagkatapos naming magdasal, bumaba na kami ng bundok.

Sa Bus Pauwi

Sa bus, sumabay samin si Kuya Bidz. Nalaman namin na Tadjock pala sya sa Wazzup! Wazzup! (Think: Wallace) Grabe, nakakatawa talaga sya! Niloloko nga nya ako kagabi kasi tinanong nya kung sino daw yung "You're Here" sa t-shirt ko. Nahiya talaga ako nang husto at tinago ko yung shirt sa jacket ko. Kumanta pa nga sya ng kanta eh.. Grabe!

***

Sa Banahaw nakakakita ng maraming secta. Pero ang mga mamamayan ng bundok Banahaw ang nagpakita samin ng isang aral: Talagang masisipag ang mga Pilipino. Kailangan itama natin ang viewpoint natin sa kasaysayan.

Hanggang sa muli.

WHAT: YFC Mega Camp
WHERE:BPS-Silang, Cavite
WHEN: Aug. 25-27, 2006

Hay...Sa wakas at nakauwi nako sa bahay! Galing kasi ako sa YFC Mega Camp sa BPS Silang. Sobrang saya talaga ng pakiramdam lalo na pag natupad mo na ang pinakamimithi mo sa pagiging YFC-ang maging parte ng YOUTH Camp Service team. Kwento ko lang yung mga pangyayari before and after mag-camp.

Friday-Pagkagaling ko sa school, nag-online muna ako. Tapos, umalis nako sa bahay ng mga 3:30 ng hapon. Sumakay ako ng dyip, kaya lang...ang nasakyan ko pala, hindi dadaan sa Walter Mart Dasma. Kaya sumakay ako ulit ng dyip pero hindi pala dadaan sa tapat ng Walter Mart. Naglakad pa tuloy ako hanggang sa entrance at buti nalang, nandoon pa sila. Sumakay kami sa mga dyip na dinala kami sa BPS. Nakapunta nako dun kaya ayos lang.

Pagkalagay namin ng gamit, nagpunta kami sa isang bakanteng lote para mag-worship. Pagkatapos nun, pumunta kami ng session hall para makinig ng Talk 1 pero bago nun, naglaro kami ng bahay, baboy, bagyo. Pero eto ang masaklap. Kumain na kami ng dinner ng mga 10 na ng gabi. Biro mo, gutom na gutom ka na talaga tapos, malilipasan ka rin. Pero since service team ako, hindi ako nakakain agad. Pagkatapos kumain, binigay na ang mga room assignments. Hindi ko nga expected na may kwarto pa ako eh. Kasama ko sa kwarto sina Jannylin, Eds na taga Dasmarinas National High School, si Kat mula sa Tagaytay Science National High School, at si Anna, na ka-schoolmate ko, at kapatid ng bestfriend ko.

Tapos, meeting na ng service team. Nasita kami kasi hindi pa ganap yung nagawa naming serbisyo sa camp. Sinabi sa amin na kailangang magpursigi pa kami sa pagseserve sa camp kasi sabi nga nila, "Dati, nung kayo ang participants, kayo ang pinagsisilbihan, ngayon, kayo naman ang magsisilbi sa mga participants."

Tapos, hindi pa ako agad natulog. Nag-usap pa kami ni Kat hanggang ala-una ng madaling araw. Tapos, natulog na ako.

Saturday-Nagising ako ng sobrang aga. 3:00 AM. Grabe, nalaman ko lang na wala pang gising nung mga oras na yun kaya natulog ako ulit ng saglit. Nagising ako ng mga 3:45 ng umaga. Dahil nga sa ingay na nagawa ko, nagising na rin si Kat saka si Anna. Naligo na ako saka nagbihis. Mga 6:00 ng umaga, nagpunta kaming Service Team sa session hall para mag-morning worship. Marami na samin ang nakaligo na pero marami ring di pa nakaligo lalo na sa mga lalake. Tapos, sinabi na kung sino ang mga facilitators. Kasama ako ni Kat sa pagiging faci. Grabe ang saya na naramdaman ko nun. Sa wakas, natupad ko na yung pangarap ko. Pinangako ko sa sarili ko na tutuparin ko ang tungkulin ko ng mabuti. Tapos, pumunta na kami sa dining room para tumulong sa paghahanda ng pagkain.

Nagsimula na yung Talk Two. Wala nanaman ako ulit dun kasi nag-prayer warrior ako kasama ni Jove at ni Neil V. Pagkatapos, nagmeeting ang lahat ng facilitators para sa group discussion at one-to-one sessions. Tapos, bumalik ako sa session hall. Tapos na yung Talk Two. Tapos, nagsimula yung group discussions. Marami kaming na-share na experiences sa discussion namin. Tapos, nagsimula yung Talk Three. Habang nangyayari yung talk, parang nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang lungkot. Ewan, parang nalungkot ako na parang may namatay samin. Tapos, nung tinugtog yung I Give My All na kanta, naiyak nalang ako sa isang sulok. Biglang tinanong ako ni Dyanne kung ok lang ako. Tapos, biglang umiyak nalang ako ng malakas. Nagulat nga sila na nangyari eh. Akala ni Kimchi na kasalanan nya yung nangyari. May bigla akong naalala dun sa kanta na hindi ko maintindihan. Kung tutuusin, lagi ko namang kinakanta yun pero, wala namang nangyaring ganun sakin. Ngayon lang talaga yun nangyari. Tapos, unting-unti ako kumalma. Nagpunta ako sa dining room na namumugto ang mga mata. Pagkatapos kumain ng mga participants, kumain na rin ako mag-isa. Pagkatapo kumain, pumunta ako sa kwarto para makipag-uasp kay Kat tungkol sa plano sa one-to-one sessions. Tapos, nung nagawa na namin yung plano, pinababa namin yung mga "alaga" namin sa lobby para maghintay ng turn nila.

Nung natapos yung session, pumunta kami ulit sa session hall para magmiryenda ng mais. Tapos, nagpractice kami para sa E-Nyt. Band workshop ang sinalihan ko. Yung mga kagrupo ko, taga Dasmarinas National High School lahat. Ako lang ang taga-Seton kaya na-OP ako dun pero ayos lang, kasi mabait silang lahat. Nakasundo ko sila agad. Pagkatapos ng practice, tinawag kami para mag-worship ulit habang nagaganap yung talk four. Nung nagworship kami nun, nakaramdam ako ng pagsisisi kasi sa mga bagay na pinabayaan ko para lang gawin ang gusto ko, at yung YFC ay kasama sa mga pinabayaan ko.

Pagkatapos ng worship, nagprepare kami para sa prayover session. Kinabahan talaga ako nun pero ok naman ang naging takbo ng session dahil kay GOD. Pagkatapos, nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang feeling ng contentment. Na parang wala na akong mahihiling pa. Pagkatapos nun, kumain na kami ng hapunan at pagkatapos ay dumiretso kami sa session hall para sa artificial bonfire namin.

Pagkatapos ay E-Nyt na. Grabe, nakakatuwa yung mga performances naming lahat..Lalo na yung Gag workshop. Yung tungkol sa sabon.

Tapos nun, nagmeeting uli ang service team at napuri kami sa mga nagawa namin...Hay salamat!

Tapos, natulog na ako ulit. Pero medyo maaga. Mga 12:05 AM.

Sunday-Tinanghali ako ng gising. Mas maaga ang call time ng mga Service Team pag umaga. Nagisiing ako ng 5:55 AM. Nagulat ako nung nalaman ko yung oras. Eh, gusto ko na sanang maligo kaya lang, marami nang tao sa banyo kaya pumunta ako sa session hall na naka pantulog lang. First time yun nangyari sakin sa camp pero ok lang pala yun. Pagkatapos ng morning worship, nagpunta ako sa banyo para maligo agad kasi nakatoka akong tagahugas ng pinggan. Pagkapaligo ko, binaba ko yung mga gamit ko tapos pumunta nako sa dining room para tumulong sa service team doon. Kumain na ako agad ng agahan para makahugas na ako agad. Pagkakain, hugas na ng mga pinggan. Ang sarap palang maghugas.

Bumalik ako ng session hall para sa talk 5. Pero hidi ko narinig lahat kasi may ginagawa akong importante nun. Nagtatraffic aide kami ni Benedict nun. Grabe, ang hirap ng trabaho namin. Nagkwentuhan kami at nabanggit nya na natutukso syang bumili ng sigarilyo pero nalabanan nya ang tukso. hanga talaga ako sa kanya.

...SECRET!...

Bumalik ako sa BPS para sa closing worship. Pagkatapos, kumain ako ng Goto at pagkakain, umuwi na ako.

...

Marami akong natutunan sa tatlong araw na pamamalagi ko sa BPS. Pero ito ang tumatak sa isip ko, "Sa paglilingkod natin, isipin natin na hindi yun para sa ating sarili, para yun sa DIYOS."

WOOHOO!!! The HS-High is a rousing success...I admit, it was the best day ever!!! At first, I was quite skeptical about it but eventually, I was so convinced.

You see, I commuted to school at exactly 6 in the morning. It was pretty early and to think I wear the school uniform!!! Anyway, I arrived at school at exactly 6:15. The school's pretty much quiet by that time. And as time progressed, people started to pile in. I was amazed by the overwhelming attendance of the first year...We were practically outnumbered...We rode on different buses...I was practically uncomfortable during the trip...Well, after a short time, we arrived.

As we took our seats, the band started playing familiar songs...I sang the songs one by one. Haha, they were all familiar to me so no prob. Then the program started. We sang some songs again then we had this bring me game...After that, is the jail booth selection. Well, I really wanted to get inside the jail booth..Then I was shocked when they announced, "Kulong lahat ng may eyeglasses!" I was totally freaked out. I got up from my seat and proceeded to the jail booth. I was practically pulling the board and screaming, "Palayain nyo ako!" Good thing, Gio paid 2 pesos for me and the others to bail us out. And I was so happy and relieved.

Then, the difficult time started...

As time progressed, it was getting all hot. I was practically all sweaty. But there was one problem. We can't get out. I mean, we can't get past the school gates. I really wanted something to drink. Really. And then I bought 8 bottles of pepsi just to pass the thirst. I gave some away. And to top it off, I had my good fill of the food. My packed lunch. I also sang using the Magic Sing but to my surprise, the lyrics were not complete!!! I was practically guessing them.

Then, the program started again. It started with a fashion show. Then followed by a play. I watched it with much attention. Then, we listened to a talk about 100% Pure. After that, we were practically sang a lot of praise songs. It was really tiring. I almost fainted because of exhaustion.
I was practically jumping, screaming, busting my lungs out. But it was definitely worth it.

It ended with various OPM numbers. Then, we boarded the buses again and we went back. But, I disembarked when we reached Golden City.

Bottomline is: He who sings, praises twice.

"Emotions will only put you down sometimes it's just better to use your head than to hurt yourself knowing you and the one you love can never be..."

Those were the exact words in her status message...

We're goners...

Some excerpts from our chat...

"I don't know how many times I wrote little sweet love notes to you--- I thought you loved me and we would last forever___ I guess I was wrong..."

"u really noe how to break my heart eh... all u wanted to be is just
friends...galing lam moh na pano break heart ko..."

P.S. Last minute excerpts:

“Yes i still love you. I love u more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let you go so you can know just how much I love you. Maybe if I'm lucky, you'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

"lam ko naman na di na pwede mging tau...pero wala naman msama kung aasa ako eh.... sa isang bagay na lam kong di ko makukuha..."

Na-hurt ako dito sa isang ito...

“LOVE Horrible isn't it? It makes me so vulnerable. It opens my chest and it opens up my heart and it means that someone can get inside me and mess me up. i build up all these defenses, i build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt me....

But...

then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into my stupid life...i give you a piece of me. you didn't ask for it. you did something dumb one day, like kiss me or smile at me, and then my life isn't my own anymore.

And...

It gets inside me. It eats me out and leaves you crying inside the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into my heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-me-and-rips-me-apart pain. I hate love.”

Sigh...

Hey! I'm back for good...Still fresh from the Youth Camp...Haha...I'm now an official member of Youth For Christ (YFC) and I'm proud of it! To think that I have attended a handful of YFC gatherings and I'm not even a member yet!(Count:RLC,YFC High School Summit,YFC Provincial Assembly,Youth Camp except the Kasangga Assembly) Hehe, well the experience is awesome...I have run out of words to express them all...So here they all are:

Friday, May 5, 2006

Hehe, since this day is a review day, I decided to take all my things with me to the review session. It was so hard carrying my duffel bag since it is so heavy...I guess I packed too much...

(Fast forward..)

After the review, I went out and saw the people who are going to the youth camp. There's Obie and Gio and Russell. Anyway, a lot of people were quite jealous 'coz they can't go...Anyway, I went with Obie to the lobby and to my surprise, a lot of the 4th year graduates were there, and also 3 of the 1st 4th year graduates...Hehe...Anyway, we boarded our car going to the venue...It's quite a long car ride and my back was aching...But when we arrived, it was the best surprise of my whole life...

It's a cold night in Indang...When we arrived, we were greeted by a handful of tents and some uh, creepy crawlies...We registered first our names and after that, got our Camp Kits...Then, we listened to Kuya Mon and Ate Apple about our groupings for the tents. After that, we were taught songs although I know some of them already (ok, i don't know the song Heaven) and after that, we had dinner...

After that, we had our first talk...It was delivered by Ate C.E. ...The talk was about God's Love and His Plan For Us...We realized that God has a "crazy dream" for us: a plan to give us a future and a hope. That's why he sent his only son to save us from our sins and mend our broken link with God.

Then, we played the game "Archer, Rabbit, Wall." It was a totally cool game and we won! Hehe... Then more songs were taught...

Then Talk two followed. This was delivered by Ate Dana...The talk was entitled: "Who is Jesus Christ to me?" We learned about the common misconceptions about Jesus and the best way to get to know him better. She also compared Jesus to Alexander the Great...

Then we had a sharing portion...I opened up to my groupmates about some aspects of my life...After that, we prayed all together...Then we went to our tents to freshen up...Most of the girls were eating in their tents...I hope ants won't attack them.

LIGHTS OUT.

Saturday, May 6, 2006

About 3 in the morning, I woke up, quite shocked. Because I felt that something was biting me. I thought I was just dreaming...So I decided to go back to sleep.

That wasn't the verdict.

At about 5 AM, I couldn't stand the bites anymore. I immediately got up and saw my tentmate, Aimee already up and trying to get the ants off.

Ants.

So that's the problem. I immediately helped Aimee to get rid of the ants...Then when I can't take it any longer, I went out of the tent where I saw people suffering the same fate...Then, to get rid of the itchiness, I decided to take a bath...But, there is no water.

I guess I woke up some of the sleeping tenants with my incessant complaining. They immediately guessed my plight...

When the water supply was restored, I immediately took a bath...

After taking a bath, I went to the session hall and worked up on my inbox...Then, BREAKFAST!

Then, time for talk 3...The speaker is Kuya Edwin...The talk is about Repentance, Faith, Healing and Forgiveness. We learned a lot about his past life and how he applied these principles to his life to change for the better. That healing occurs when we forgive, ask for forgiveness, humbly ask God to do so, and when we serve others.

Then, we had a letter writing activity. We wrote letters to our parents. I don't know what to put into the letter so I decided to write about my concerns and problems concerning them. After that, we had lunch and it's time for the One-to-One sessions...

ONE-TO-ONE SESSIONS

Well, basically I want to have this session so badly. I don't know why, maybe because I needed something to distract me from all the pain I've felt...So, I approached Ate Rachel and told her I want to have a session first. She agreed. We went to a secluded place in the campsite.

First, I told her about my family problems. All about me not wanting the course they want but eventually giving in to what they want. Then about me not sharing my problems to them because I feel this sort of foolish pride...Then I also told her about my problems with my friends(sorry, it's pretty confidential) and school problems.

Through this session, I managed to open up about what is really happening with my life...

-END OF NEWS ARTICLE-

continue...

Then she asked me what gift of the Holy Spirit would I want. I said gift of tongues.

Then we prayed together. After that, I went back to the hut. I sat there for no reason at all.
Then I talked to Obie about the latest happenings in school. Then, about 4, we had our E-NYT practices. I was with the singing group. We decided to sing Crazy for You and Same Ground. After that, we went outside for the mass. We rode tricycles to the church. Then, we realized that we arrived too early. So we went to buy drinks in a nearby store.

Then we went to the mass...

After that, we went back to the campsite for dinner. After dinner, we watched funny clips like Michael Jackson's rendition of My Favorite Things( I like pick a nose) and the Pooh Bear song. After that, we freshened up a bit.

Talk 4 followed...

The speaker was Kuya Norman...His talk was about Receiving God's Gift: The Power of the Holy Spirit. We were so amazed that we can receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

Then, we had our prayover session...I admit, I was so touched and at the same time guilty of the sins that I have done. Honestly, I was full of mind-numbing guilt. I was suddenly full of courage and conviction to serve God. When I slightly opened my eyes, I noticed that most of the people were standing up. Full of conviction that I never had, I stood up.

Then, the prayover began. I was called first by my faci and she prayed for me. It was an emotional moment...I was practically sniffing as she prayed...Then after that, I had this feeling of calm that I have never felt before...I went back to my seat as though I went back to life.

Then our first worship session began...I admit, it's not my first time to worship because of the past gatherings...But it's ok 'coz for some, it's their first time.

Then some last-minute preparations for our E-NYT presentations...Then we presented our song number...I admit it didn't turn out quite good but it's alright. We were practically laughing at the gag presentation...Kuya Kenneth's impersonation of Kuya Mon was so hilarious...

Then preparations to go to bed....All the girls thought they wouldn't be able to go to sleep...Kuya Mon was so persistent on keeping them awake...(He's teasing Aimee about sardines...) Me and Ate Laira were having a fight....Haha, it's such a long night...

LIGHTS OUT.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

I woke up at around 5:30 AM. True, I realy can't get enough sleep. But it's ok 'coz no ants were biting me as I slept. But, I realized that I was being bitten by the large ants that bite like hell..I took a bath early.

Working on my inbox once again...Hehe, I was writing messages on the colored paper.

Breakfast...Yum yum!

Then, prayer time and worship....

Then, we were asked to transfer to the shady part facing the river. There, talk 5 started. It was Kuya Mon who delivered the talk. It's about the Life and Mission of YFC...The one that caught my attention was when Ate Apple told us that they couldn't eat like we do there...

Then, we prayed...Then, some of us received the biggest surprise of our life...

Their parents and loved ones...

Some were crying when they saw their parents...But some were not so lucky. I was one of those not-so-lucky ones. But it's ok. It was Ate Rachel who served as my parent. They prayed for us and we prayed for them. Then, we went to the session hall for our final worship. Then we were awarded our certificates and ID's.

Then we had our lunch. But, we gave our lunch to the facis...

As we left the place, I felt complete renewal...I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be in this camp...For letting me bond with the people who I never thought I would get to know better and for making me a better person...

May GOD be forever praised...